I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
