My balls are so social today.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
