...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
