She's JV to your varsity
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
