You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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