The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it was like eating out sand paper
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
