i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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