I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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