it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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