You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize