my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
