I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
