Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize
