Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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