so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
