Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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