Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
