In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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