I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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