Moan for me like Helen Keller
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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