She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
