WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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