do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize