Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
