im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
