There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
