Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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