Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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