I think I am morally bankrupt
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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