Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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