He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
