Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
