thus making me awesome and them whores
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
