You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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