just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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