you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
this hospital has no fireball
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
