Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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