I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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