hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
