I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
