so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
