I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
