Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
