so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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