Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
