Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
