are you still at the devil's house?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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