I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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