we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
