I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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