I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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