I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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