I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't deserve a penis
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When are your genitals available?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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