All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
