I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
