I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im six kinds of drunk right now
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
