Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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