This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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