the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
ok first of all what the fuck
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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