her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
