What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
